oh me

I know I can be difficult.  I can overreact to the dumbest things. My sensitivity level is off the charts...so be careful, feelings can be hurt way too easily around here.  It's silly, really.  There are definitely times when I wish I was tougher, when things wouldn't mean quite so much, or when I wouldn't respond how I typically do.  But then again, there are times when I don't show enough emotion.  I don't let people know how much I DO enjoy something.

My emotions have been on high alert lately.  We'll say we're at a level orange. High risk of tears and seclusion.  All I have really wanted to do lately is be by myself. Be quiet. And eat popcorn. Sounds healthy, huh?

I am a quiet person.  My family is a quiet family...for the most part.  It really does bother me when people are absurdly loud. I don't need to hear your phone conversation.  I don't want to have to scream over you to be heard by someone 2 feet away from me.

I enjoy being social and being around friends, but it is in the quiet times that I recharge.  It takes a lot out of me when I turn on the greeting acquaintances face.  Like I said, it's not that I don't enjoy being social...I just NEED time by myself. I really am a much better person when I get that time.  The trouble comes when I can't seem to get out of the "I just want to be by myself funk".  I've been there for a while now.

This kind of funk can be confusing.  I want to be by myself....but that doesn't mean the same thing when it comes to Timmy as it does for other people.  I want him around more than normal when I'm stuck here.  It's probably not much fun for him though because I'm a grump, and he thinks I need to be by myself (which any normal person would think that)...and then my feelings get hurt because he's giving me my space.  I'm crazy, right?

I don't handle it well when Timmy gets really busy at the church.  I mean, he's always busy at the church, but there are times when he is REALLY busy.  This week is one of those weeks.  So, I'm trying to distance myself a little bit so I don't interfere, and so that I'm not the needy wife watching the clock and sending him messages every 30 minutes asking him when he's coming home....I don't think it's working.  I think I'm just making things worse, because...guess what....my feelings are getting hurt.  But I'll move on and I'll be fine.

I'll put on my brave face, and wait for tomorrow to pass.  The next morrow will bring a little bit of quiet. Enough quiet to get me through until the next go round of crazy.