Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Remember

When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart.

For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling ghost-like, it's your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way.

If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget me, part of who I am will be gone.

"Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom," the good thief said from his cross (Luke 23:42). There are perhaps no more human words in all of Scripture, no prayer we can pray so well.

-Frederick Buechner, Listening to Your Life, January 16

Friday, January 7, 2011

Follow Fearless Love

I ended my blog yesterday with TTYL (talk to you later).  I remember using that a lot when talking with friends on AIM in high school.  We used TTYL, BRB, and LYLAS fairly regularly. I specifically remember LYLAS and NMH in notes we passed at school.  I found some old notes in my old room at mom's house not too long ago.  Notes about nothing, but at the time the notes were about everything.

I specifically remember watching Winnie the Pooh as a child and Tigger saying "TTFN, ta ta for now!". I think he may have been the original abbreviator of phrases, the antecedent to our now popular text talk.


I'm in Tuscaloosa for the night.  I was blessed with a good dinner with Mom and Jamey.  I really cannot express how much I love my family.  I appreciate them so much more now than I did when I was younger. I didn't realize how amazing they all are or what they really mean to me. Ah, sappy, emotional. But it's true.  I have so much love for them it hurts sometimes.

So being at home means sleeping in my old room.  It means seeing all the things that I left here.  It still blows me away how much "stuff" I didn't bring with me.  I'm definitely feeling nostalgic.  I found a Bible my mom gave me over 10 years ago.  It was stuffed with morning watches from summer camps...from camps I attended as a camper and from camps I worked as a counselor or as a member of summer team.

When the North Alabama Conference Youth Council still planned the summer camps (sr. high mainly) they chose the theme by theme committee.  The one year I served on theme committee we got stuck on "Love ______ us". Love blanks us. Hmmmm.  It eventually turned into "Follow Fearless Love".  Tonight I found the compass that Danny gave each of the team members that year. It still has the verse of the summer attached (and I don't plan on taking it off anytime soon). II John 6 : "....this is the commandment, as you have heard from the beginning, that you follow love."

You may see a pattern here eventually (if you can create a pattern with only two blogs). Love.  I think that is what my whole purpose in life is about...not that anyone really ever figures out their true purpose.  But if I could figure out a purpose at all, it is to live love, show love, experience love, breath love....fearlessly.  Being fearless is easier said than done.  For me, let's change the word fear to worry.

That's me.  I'm a worrier. not warrior, but worry-er. I worry, then say a breath prayer.  The worry always seems to creep in though.

Anyway...needless to say, the bible, the morning watches, the compass and a pile of letters that people sent to me while I was at camp are coming back to Birmingham with me tomorrow. Oh! I can't forget the care notes.  I kept every singe care bag I have made....since I was 16 at least. There's a lot of love in those bags. Love.

II John 6 : "....this is the commandment, as you have heard from the beginning, that you follow love."

TTFN

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Sing it louder

I used to blog, journal, whichever you like to call it.  Then life got busy...er, busier.  It's really hard to figure out where to start writing.  I guess I need to introduce myself to this again.  So....who am I?

I am a child of God. I am a wife.  I am a daughter.  I am a sister.  I am a friend.  I am a teacher.  I am a student.  I am passionate about children with special needs.  I am passionate about children in general, but that needs a blog dedicated to it all by itself. 

I typically find that I can express my feelings best by using song lyrics. You may see a few here.  My writing is not nearly as eloquent as Sara Groves or Bebo Norman, and they seem to know me better than I know myself.

I was sitting in the youth room at VHUMC last night talking to Robin about her plans for Wednesday nights during Lent.  She is doing different, creative ways to take communion.  She got the ideas from http://tabled.ca/ . Check it out.  It's going to be really incredible.  There is one night where she is talking about "our recipe".  She's going to be bringing brownies made with her grandmother's recipe, and I'm making my great grandmother's cookies.  The night is not really about a food recipe, but what makes us up, our recipe.  And since I was having trouble coming up with something to write about I figure this is a good place to start.  It is on my mind at least.

I have some very vivid memories of my great grandmother.  We called her Granny.  My mom put this cookie recipe in one of our church cookbooks and titled it "Granny Gertrude's Sheet Cookies".  I L-O-V-E these cookies, but when I think of my Granny and food, I think of her peanut butter sticks.  I can still smell them.  In fact, I remember writing my very first descriptive paragraph about the smell of these things in 4th grade in Mrs. Danford's class.  Granny died in 1992.  I can't remember anyone making them since she died. 18 years and I can still smell them.  That's a powerful memory.  The night of the recipes at church I get to share a little bit about Granny with the students.  I'm going to start with one of the songs that we sing fairly regularly at VHUMC, How Great Thou Art.  I absolutely love that song.  It's one of those songs that if you were sitting next to Granny while we sang it, she would elbow you and say "Sing it louder".  My mom heard her say that frequently.  Sing it louder.

It's funny how ramblings that start from nowhere can lead to somewhere.  Sing it louder.

I believe in a God who loves unconditionally.  I believe in a God who is ever present.  I believe in a God who yearns for us to choose him.  I like to think of God elbowing me and saying "sing it louder", but not in a shake the bible in your face sort of way....but in a love the world with your whole being sort of way.  I'm still working on that.

So, here's my start.  Hopefully here I can organize my thoughts.  Hopefully here I can let my passions run wild. But for now I've got to pack for Tuscaloosa, and go to bed so I can be functional at work tomorrow.

TTYL