Raw emotion

started writing this Friday morning


So, I'm sitting in my beautiful house, watching the end of the Royal Wedding. Something I have been looking forward to all week. It's a big reality to me that the world continues to move around you even in your crisis.  Because your life is at a standstill because of tragedy or death, the world doesn't stop...even if you feel like it should.

I cannot begin to describe the last two days. It started with a 5 AM wake-up call by tornado sirens, thunder, lightening and lots and lots of wind. It's amazing how much damage that early morning storm caused...and there was more to come. I watched the first Cullman tornado form in the sky as the news cameras caught it live, and the horrific destruction it made in such a beautiful town.  All day long, tornado after tornado. Then we watched the tornado forming in Tuscaloosa. This massive, violent, terrifying, only seen in the movies tornado.  I could tell you exactly what it was hitting as we watched in get bigger on the tv screen. I cried. I still cry.

I called my mom while watching the tornado to make sure that she knew about it.  I knew there were power outages from the morning storm, and I didn't know if they had power or not.  They did. They were sitting in the hallway watching it on tv. Then we lost the tv feed, and cell phones were out. Sick doesn't even describe the feeling.  I couldn't get through to my mom again. I couldn't get through to my grandparents.

Then they start showing images of what was hit. CVS on McFarland and 15th street. University Mall. DCH.   Then they showed Milo's and Hobby Lobby.  My grandparents' house is 2 or 3 blocks from there. I was freaking out.  I couldn't get in touch with anyone. Then I got a voicemail from my mom. "We're ok. The house is not, but we're ok." I melted down the wall and bawled. One of those heaving cries where you can't catch your breath. I was finally able to walk upstairs and tell Timmy what the message said. Then I said, "We have to get in touch with Grandma and Grandpa".  We figured landlines were down, and that is all they have. No cell phone.  I couldn't get Patrick.  Every once in a while my mom could get through to me. I'm not sure how. Jamey finally got through to me and he asked if anyone had heard from Grandma and Grandpa. When I told him no, he headed straight there.  Later I found out that he couldn't get closer than Helen Keller Blvd. He jogged to the bridge on University that goes over Kicker Rd. That's where he saw the damage, and he took off. He ran over a mile to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  At the same time, Patrick was walking from Mom's house because no one could get in and out by car, and they were having trouble finding any information about Grandma and Grandpa, and no one had a way to get there.

Jamey found Grandma and Grandpa sitting on their couch in what was the living room...which now had no roof. I'll post pictures of it at some point.  The main thing is they were fine.  They made to the basement and were untouched.  If they hadn't had the basement...I don't even want to think about what could have happen.

Pictures make the destruction horrifying, but walking through it is beyond words.  Every where you look MASSIVE trees are uprooted. If not uprooted, the trees are snapped and twisted.  You can see distances you shouldn't be able to see.  Most places do not have power.  A lot of places do not have running water.  I have learned what the spray paint means that the fire departments puts on the walls when they check the homes.  And to see no deaths no injuries on some these homes...it is unreal.  How people survived this...miraculous.  But then there are people who didn't survive. The number keeps climbing, and will do so for days to come.

I haven't been able to sleep.  The first night it was the thought of Mom, Patrick and my Grandparents staying in those houses over night.  Last night is was the image of everything.  I kept seeing it...the rubble, the unfamiliarity of everything.  Places that were so familiar, I don't recognize at all.  It's so eerie. So eerie.

Mom and I drove through Alberta City last night. It was unbelievable that we could get through there, because the roads were blocked all day.  It was so dark.  There were lights on at the Piggly Wiggly...one of the only things standing, and they must have had a generator.  The Piggly Wiggly lights and police lights were the only lights around. We had been told that Alberta City was gone...it. was. gone. flat. unreal.

The elementary school I went to...gone.  The two houses where I spent most of my time...one is unrepairable, unlivable...the other is fixable, but it's horrifying to think that Mom and Patrick were in there.

here is a break in the time frame of writing. I started writing again Saturday night.

The stories we are hearing are unreal. You can't even fathom what the area is like until you walk through it and see things up close. People say "looks like a war zone", "looks like a bomb went off"...words don't even come close.

There are areas of the town that have been fairly easy to get to. Grandma and Grandpa's house...if you know the right streets, you can get there with no trouble.  Mom's house...it's a nightmare to get to.  Depending on who is guarding the street you can get in if you have an id with the street address on it...a different guard will tell you to park and walk in...almost 2 miles to mom's house.  Another person will say you can't get in at all.  Every day it gets a little bit easier because more streets are being cleared. Today we had issues getting around because power trucks were putting up new poles...but that's a good thing.

Progress is definitely being made.

We spent most of today moving things out of Grandma and Grandpa's house and packing up. It's amazing that the roof was taken off, but the contents of the attic were still there.  We pulled down some really incredible things that they had stored up there.  We found a box of all the letters Grandma and Grandpa wrote to each other during WWII...incredible!! Mom had never seen them before.

This is all really emotional for Grandma and Grandpa...and Mom too.  Mom is having to deal with two houses that are very important to her, and she really hasn't had time to deal with her house.  Most of our time has been spent at Grandma and Grandpa's house because we HAVE to get everything out of it.  60 years worth of things...it's a little overwhelming. Mom's house is tarped and ok for now, but she's still living out of a suitcase which is hard enough.

I'll probably still be processing things for a while.  Right now I'm just worried about Grandma and Grandpa.  This a huge change for them.  They built their house.  They raised their kids in their house.  They lived there close to 60 years. This is not a wanted change. It's a forced change...hard to handle at 85 years old. I'm glad they have each other. I'm glad we still have them.

I can't tell you how much I have cried.  Mom says "I just can't stop crying". It's overwhelming. Completely overwhelming. But I'm grateful everyone is ok.

God is nigh.